Galsan Tschinag

 

You Will Always Be Untamable

 

- Poems -

 


Translated by Richard Hacken

From Galsan Tschinag, Nimmer werde ich Dich zähmen können
(Frauenfeld, Switzerland: Waldgut Verlag, 1996)


 

 

The Miracle

 

The miracle

Circling in the stars

Is mine to pull down

And hold

I force words from you

That suit my ears

And think myself justified

To build a nest

Where I can make them hatch

Into light little birds

Capable of flying out

To bring back for us

Those days that are gone

 

 


 

 

A Blade Of Grass

 

A blade of grass

On your steppe

I rebel against the storm winds

Searching for something solid

The blade

That must grow next to me

I reach and reach

Into emptiness

Until I realize

I will have to stand

By myself

 



 

 

Let Nobody Come Too Near Me

 

Let nobody come too near me

Inside me is a bubbling and a seething

I am energized with forces

Granted

To the son of the sky

And grandson of the mountains

Stillness born in the primordial hour

Spreading out and attending me

All along my path

Will, when the day is ripe,

Impose itself on earth’s crusty hide

Penetrate its pores

And grow to fires

That can never be extinguished.

 

 


 

 

The World

 

When the world

Surrounded by ticking clocks

Pauses for once

And the silence

Pours out

Filling you

To all your extremities

That is the moment

Of truth

You must look in the eye

And confess:

Have you been as honest

With yourself as much

As you’ve beaten down others

With your honesty?

 

 



 

Inside The Morning

 

Within the morning

Lives a secret

Get up, my large-eyed woman

I would like

To chase after

The beams of sun

With you

And find out

Why they bend around and

Away from the yurt

When you’re not there

Without that certainty

I don’t plan on getting any older

And if I die at all

I intend on doing that

Only after lifting the veil

On all the secrets

Of this earth and

Laying them at your feet

 

 


 

 

Festering

 

Festering

Without you

Time drags

Hour after hour

It stacks up

With nothing but stillbirths

I can’t name

A single name

For what is going on around me

But I know I have

To stand and watch it all

 

 


 

 

Meager The Warmth In The Hut

 

Meager the warmth in the hut

The oven has gone out

Perhaps

Two people are lying

With their backs to each other

Such that the heat of their bodies

Slips away from them

Both are weaving at a dream

If only the snow

Absent

Into the second month of winter

Would finally appear

Maybe it would patch up all the breaks in the ground

Who knows

 

 


 

 

Your Love

 

Your love was

A mighty river

That flooded and carried me

Into another, even more beautiful land

For the length of a dream

I was

Another nobler being there

And when I awakened

I found my Altai

Had become bluer yet and

Whiter again

Related

To the landscapes

In your eyes

 

 


 

 

On The Dreary Days

 

On the dreary days

Creeping towards me

And wading into me

Hour after hour

I pull my parts together

Until I squat as small as a sparrow

Unable to fly away

Or even to bear

What’s happening to me

At your intervention

The sparrow transforms itself

Into an eye

In which is found one tear

Full of stars

 

 


 

 

Blue Stillness

 

Blanketed in the blue

Stillness of the steppe

You stand

In my thoughts

Solar faces

Shine around you and

Flow into one another

They have illuminated you

Along the years

Have led you across

To me and have themselves

Finally flowed into me

I am the youngest

Among your suns

 

 


 

 

A Storm Of Birds

 

A storm of birds

Like stones catapulted

At you and me

From across the far shore of the time-river

With the lusterless look

Of the incoming age

We accompany

The scattering swarm

Beyond the woods

That received us in life

But now will outlast even our children

By centuries

 

 


 

 

I Saw Your House

 

I saw your house

Twenty times as large

As the yurt

Where I wanted

To take you as my bride

So now I know

The efforts

I owed

To fit you

Into my life

Should have been

Twenty times greater

To counter it

My love

Would have been encased

As a coffin in your home

While I myself

Stayed outside

 

 


 

 

Those That Devastated You

 

Those that devastated you

Were aware

That I was to follow

Their preparations have been

Well made

Your body is

A fortress

Nowhere

Can I touch

Without wounding myself

On the ramparts

Of foreign invasions

 

 


 

 

Today Again

 

Today again

Your tongue slipped

Like a snake the name

Hissed out of you

Which I will have to swallow

No doubt a thousand times more

But never will digest

For our sake I wish

You could empty out the years

The cemetery of your previous life

But memory alone

Is the barbed hook

That will never set it free

 

 


 

 

All My Brightness

 

Mixing all my brightness

In a drink

And setting it before you

Maybe that will loose

The braids of time

Stuck to you so long

And now branching out against me

Like a spider’s web?

 

 


 

 

Let My Love Be Water

 

Let my love be water

With it, the precious water

Scooped from the fountain of my heart

I will wash away

All smudges from your name

And drive off any foreign elements

From our surroundings

 

Let my love be fire

With it, the wild fire

Ignited by flames of lunacy

I will scorch away the crust

Of your all-indulgent skin

And get down to your core

 

Let my love be stone

With it, the heavy stone

Broken from our tired bones

I will bury the years

Now flying back

To tear us apart

 

 


 

 

On A Path

 

On a path

Of soft blue

And warm yellow

I wander

All the wrinkles of earth’s body

Are flooded with lights

The elements face each other

In a gentle passion of daybreak

The birds sing songs

I’ve incubated myself

Released to hazy distances

I live awaiting the wonder

That will happen

Later today

At the eleventh hour

 

 


 

 

Strange And Foreign

 

Strange and foreign festival

Streaked with rain

Unreal as any word

Whispered in the dream state

The city is

A lame bird

Dodging and dozing

Under a shrub

The houses are

Its drooping wings

Each window

A weeping eye

Since you’re with me

I overlook

The misery

Of the roots you know

I stand Colossus-like

The prince from a fairy tale

In which, facing off all doubters,

You alone believe

 

 


 

 

Heavily I Made It

 

Heavily

I made it across

The night

Under my pillow

Ticked

The punishment

For my delay

In each

Of your skin folds

I knew

The gnome

Who, left behind

By my predecessors

Guarded

You against me

 

 


 

Dream

 

The yurt stands

The fire burns

The mother lives

Rainwater runs across the floor

Slides cord-thin past the chest

With the scuffed corners

Comes to a halt and

Splinters into three threads

Each one eats its way

Forward through sparse yellow steppe grass

With the single-mindedness of fire

From the trembling trident I recognize

The lines of my own palm

Years of life lie assembled

In a herd like yaks

On a twin island stripped bare

In each trickle is the flicker

Of reddish-black water

With a blue fin

In my temples there seems to be a pounding

That curls into a question:

Will the tripartite water

Reach the ocean?

 

 


 

 

Clouds Froth Up

 

Clouds froth up

Woods flutter in the wind

Primeval forces are

At work

Indigestibly

You lie

Sideways in me

And I know

You will always

Be untamable

 

 


 

 

Leaf Piles That Scattered

 

Leaf piles that scattered

In the wind of birds taking flight

And that flamed for a hundred days

Along the edges of pathways

Must now

Freeze

In order to fit

The groove of time and

Disappear

From the face of earth

The same river of time

Will carry me

Out of your life

And wash me up on a shore

Unreachable

Even in your dreams

 

 

 


 

 

A Leaf Attached To You

 

I am a leaf attached to you, my tree,

A piece of fluff from your fibrous body

The water of life comes running

To me through you

And the path to the treetop carries me

Across your hollows and hills

The time crashing against you

Into pieces of day and night

Always confronts me at the trunk

And keeps me turning

Next to you

I storm through each hour of life

In the effervescence of elements

That come from the hub of earth

And if even a thousand years

Were allotted me

I would find no time

To wither but would remain

Ever green at your side

 

 



 

 

I Don’t Always Want

 

I don’t always want

To be the one who goes

To the things of this earth

To explain himself

For once, if you please

The mountain

Can show up at my place

And hold out the stones

That tumble down and mean me

He can say out loud

That insanity is the other

Inappropriate word for

Being trans-ported

And that the poet

Is a human mountain

I want to know

The wind at my side, so it

Will hunt for powers in me

Will learn to grow to a storm

And flatten whatever does not deserve

To take up life-space

All abandoned dreams

May nestle under my wings

I will train them

To face the vultures

 

 


 

 

The Stone

 

The stone

Which is your word and

Strikes

The stone

Which is your word and

Kills

Comes flying

In a low arc

Horrified

I stretch forth

A shield of lies

The word-stone

Bounces off

Missing me

And dropping away with my love

Irretrievably

To the point of no return

 



 

 

The Yellow Of The Sun

 

The yellow of the sun combined

With the grayness of the valleys

Merging into blue

Silver-threaded strands peeled away

From the onrushing morning

Streamed in light and floating lines

Towards the unending distances

Mountain and hill began

To stagger and sway

Into the glacier-bright Altai

The fifteenth of July marched in

Grasses grew, winds blew

And every hair’s breadth of me

Was filled with you

 



 

 

Two People

 

Two people

Separate

Going two

Respectively wrong

Directions

In the heart of each

Sits a knife

Dual-edged

 



 

 

In Your Own Salt

 

In your own salt I find you

Most convincing

And so I’d like

To look into your failing eyes

And feel your trembling shoulders

To intoxicate myself with the fire

Bur