“A Christmas Visit From Russian Santa Nyikolaus”
Twas
the week before the week before Christmas and all through St. Pyeterburg
Not
a capitalist was stirring, not even to do the jitterbug,
The
former KGB was snuggled behind listening devices,
Hoping to forestall any Christmastime crisis.
When
what to their wondering ears should come shootin’
But
the voice of their comrades, saying:
“Down with Vladimir Putin.”
Meanwhile
was taking off from Reindeer-Port Jolly Santa Nyikolaus,
Determined to visit with presents your Amyerican house.
On
Olga, On
Past
When
sleigh attains altitude of 30,000 feet, Santa gives admonyition
To
Reindeer: loosen your seatbelts, but keep tray tyables
in upright position;
And
laying a finger aside of his ear, and giving a nod,
He
bounces in tune to his video iPod.
When
sleigh reaches airspace of
The
air is all frozen from dusk until dawn,
But
the weather gets better, hypothermia is averted
By the warmth emanyating from
Then
Santa turns left, as all socialists can do,
And
flies for Amyerican border right through,
The
jets, how they scramble; the missiles, how merry;
Except
Nyikolaus comes in peace, with presents to carry.
Descending
to
That
comes from a byasketball buildink
below:
The
name on the side calls it “Energy Pollyutions.”
Then
leaving a gift for Kirilenko (Andrei)
Santa
from
Russian
to visit us nice peoples, ho, ho,
Nyikolaus makes it a post-Thanksgiving Point to visit
The
moon on the crest of the
Gives
the luster of success to Bronco Mendenhall,
And
a lovelier Beck pass can never be seen
Than the one Santa gives as a gift to Johnny
Harline.
But
as Santa flies over the HBLL,
He
is shaking his head, as he cups his hand to yell:
“Here
there is nothink more I can be givink,
Already
is here so much love in the livink.”
But
I heard him exclaim, as he left some advice
For
all boys and girls, whether naughty or nice:
“Please,
please to check your sushi now and then
To
avoid radioactive element: Polonium 210.”
- Dick Hacken, December 2006