Certificate of Generally Referencing

(to the tune of: “Deck the Halls”)

Don, you’re gone, which makes you jolly,

Fal-la-la-la-la, so never fear;

Your career has been no folly,

Fal-la-la-la-la, you’re out of here.

Don, you’ve donned your lax apparel,

Fal-la-la-la-la-la, get a grip;

After years of General Reference,

Now comes retirement… the ultimate trip.

Don, since your recent years have been devoted to convincing students and faculty that NOT ALL answers to reference questions come from the Internet, I’ve decided to tweak your cheek and yank your chain by telling all about you, by generally referencing you, courtesy of Google. And this is what I found in Google:

In Maryland, Don Howard owns a thriving paint-shop store,

Offering pastel colors and varnishes and more.

In California, red and yellow blossomings have flowered

Thanks to the manure sold by one… Don Howard.

A specialist in primitive ethnic art found in Orlando

Calls himself Don Howard, but he looks like Marlon Brando.*

Did you know as well that in 1952

Don Howard wrote the pop tune “Oh Happy Day?” It’s true.

A person who can share with him the very self-same name

Is professor of philosophy at South Bend’s Notre Dame.

Don’s an archer in Great Britain and a yachtsman in New York,

In Sydney he preaches, and in Georgia he grills pork.

But the only Dean of Dons worth mentioning

is the one we have right here,

The one who’s stood beside us year by year.

* That used to be a compliment but isn’t anymo’.

Presented to Don Howard by Dick Hacken – 9 April 2003